Things that Aren't in the Bible: Christmas/Epiphany Edition
Since Joseph belonged to David’s house and family line, he went up from the city of Nazareth in Galilee to David’s city, called Bethlehem, in Judea. He went to be enrolled together with Mary, who was promised to him in marriage and who was pregnant. While they were there, the time came for Mary to have her baby. (Luke 2:4-6, CEB translation)
They entered the house and saw the child with Mary his mother. Falling to their knees, they honored him. Then they opened their treasure chests and presented him with gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh. (Matthew 2:11, CEB translation)
Sometimes I like to take an opportunity in this blog to just correct some assumptions that are made about details in the Bible. Continuing that tradition, here are some things that frequently pop up this time of year.
Mary rode a donkey to Bethlehem – My very first blog like this pointed out that Paul didn’t fall off a horse when Jesus appeared in front of him on the road to Damascus. Turns out that came from a very popular Renaissance painting. Well, we would be hard pressed to come up with where the idea that Mary rode on a donkey from Nazareth to Bethlehem originated. This is portrayed in countless paintings, movies, short films, books… It seems like it is everywhere – except in the Bible! Now, it is possible that Mary did ride some sort of pack animal as she and Joseph made their way to Bethlehem, but it is just as likely (maybe more so) that she walked. Walking was the usual means of travel, especially for people with few means. We put her on a donkey because… I guess we want to help a pregnant woman out, though I am not sure riding a donkey is more comfortable than walking. It would be kind of a toss up. Or maybe we like Mary riding a donkey as she is going to give birth to Jesus to parallel how Jesus will ride a donkey into Jerusalem in his last week of life. Very poetic. Just not found in the text.
It was winter when Jesus was born – I have some good friends from Brazil who always tried to get as far South as they could and close to the beach because Christmas just didn’t feel right if it wasn’t summer. Whereas I struggle to get into the Christmas spirit if it isn’t 30 degrees or below. Of course, this year it is projected to be 74 degrees on Christmas day where I live, so maybe I should adjust my expectations. I digress. Well, actually, I don’t. Christmas feels like when we have traditionally celebrated it. For those of us in the Northern hemisphere, that is winter. For the Southern hemisphere, that is summer. The truth of the matter is, we have no concrete idea when Jesus was born. Our best guess is that it was in the Spring, because that is when a census would typically happen. Except we can’t actually verify such a census occurred, or that it required people to return to their ancestral homes. But if it was in the Spring, the early church faced the daunting possibility that both Christmas and Easter could fall in the exact same week. Nope. That’s not going to work. Why not co-opt a popular pagan holiday – Saturnalia – which took place in the winter and would allow for a good tool for conversion too?! And thus, Christmas is in December.
There were 3 Magi – We make this assumption based on exactly one detail: there are three gifts. We figure one gift per person giving, but we don’t even operate that way all the time (ever give a gift from a group of friends, or from two parents to a child?), and those were potentially some very expensive gifts. Also, if these dudes were super rich, then I can pretty much guarantee they weren’t traveling alone but would have brought an entourage with them. Plus, they were able to get Herod’s attention. Presumably these are men of some stature, or perhaps they were a crowd. Maybe there were three of them. Maybe there were 30. Or for that matter, there could have been two. The point is, we have made the assumption that there were three magi based on the number of gifts, and we have even given them names (Gaspar, Melchoir, and Balthazar), but nowhere in the text does it actually say that. I hate to mess up the “We Three Kings” song for all of us, but my dad messed that song up for me when I was in elementary school and he taught me these lyrics: “We three kings of Orient are / Tried to smoke a rubber cigar / It was loaded, it exploded / Now we are in the stars.” You’re welcome.
Jesus’ birth is the Immaculate Conception – This is a big ol’ conception misconception. People seem to be confusing the words miraculous and immaculate. Immaculate means absolutely clean. Jesus, as God, is by definition clean. Actually by definition one step up: holy. The immaculate conception was Mary’s conception and birth. She had to be born without Original Sin so she didn’t pass it on to Jesus. All that being said, though, the Immaculate Conception is not in the Bible. Neither, for that matter, is Original Sin. We can thank St. Augustine for the doctrine of Original Sin, which comes about in the 4th century CE, and we can thank Catholic doctrine for insisting that Mary had to be free from sin in order to bear Jesus. But you won’t find any of that in the Bible.
Where you will find it, or at least the beginnings of that concept, is in a non-canonical gospel called the proto-Gospel of James. Also in that book, you will also read a very weird version of the nativity story, which includes this fun little detail:
Mary’s vagina melts a midwife’s hand, and then baby Jesus heals her – That’s right, folks, something akin to the end of the first Indiana Jones movie happens to a doubting midwife. She has the audacity to disbelieve the story that Mary was a virgin. She also disbelieved that such virginity would be perpetual (that is also not in the Bible, by the way). So she decided she would put her hand inside Mary just to find the evidence (because apparently that evidence was going to be intact post-birth, but I mean we are already at pretty insane levels of storytelling, so why not?), and when she sticks her hand in it proceeds to melt. Never fear, though! Tiny newborn Jesus stretches out his hand and touches her stub and instantly her hand is healed, and the midwife has no doubts anymore! Y’all, the non-canonical Gospels are so much fun!
I hope I haven’t messed up too many Christmas Eve sermons or kids’ Christmas pageants. The truth is one of the most powerful things about this story is that we do get to make it our own. So enjoy making the story of the birth of Jesus something that is meaningful and real to you. And how ever you celebrate, may you have a beautiful and joyous Christmas!
Image by Inbal Malca on Unsplash.com.
