The Green Ping Pong Ball

Today is the one year anniversary of my father’s death. So instead of a reflection on the Bible, which would have made his skin crawl a bit, I am sharing a piece of his eulogy. It is, in it’s own way, a piece of the gospel that was his life story. It is one of three stories of his I shared that day.

The story I requested more than any others: The Green Ping Pong Ball.  My dad was known for his epic stories, especially the ones with a punch line at the end. Some of them took hours.  Some of them took place over days.  The story of the green ping pong ball could be as short or as long as Dad wanted it to be. And it was my favorite one. As a kid, I asked for it regularly. To spare you all the agony, I will tell the abridged edition.

There was a little boy whose dad came to him on his fifth birthday.  His dad said, “Son, you are getting ready to start school. This is a big moment for you.  I want to celebrate this important step in your life by getting you a wonderful gift. Anything you want, you tell me, and I will get it for you.”

“Well, Dad, I’ll tell you, what I really want more than anything else is a green ping pong ball.”

“A green ping pong ball?” exclaimed his dad, “Why in the world do you want a green ping pong ball?”

“Well, Dad, I really can’t tell you. I would just really like to have a green ping pong ball.”

“Well, you can’t have one!”

The boy was turning sixteen. His dad came to him, wanting to do something to mark this important event.  His dad said, “Son, you are getting ready to start driving. This is a big moment for you.  I want to celebrate this important step in your life by getting you a wonderful gift. Anything you want, you tell me, and I will get it for you.”

“Well, Dad, I’ll tell you, what I really want more than anything else is a green ping pong ball.”

“A green ping pong ball?” exclaimed his dad, “Why in the world do you want a green ping pong ball?”

“Well, Dad, I really can’t tell you. I would just really like to have a green ping pong ball.”

“Well, you can’t have one!”

This went on and on, every important event in the man’s life - his high school and college graduations, his marriage, the birth of his children.  Same exchange.  Then the day came when his father was dying. His father called his son to his bedside, wanting to clear the air of anything between them.  His dad said, “Son, I am dying. I want to make sure I have been a good father to you, that you have all you could ever want or need. Anything you want, you tell me, and I will get it for you.”

“Well, Dad, I’ll tell you, what I really want more than anything else is a green ping pong ball.”

“A green ping pong ball?” exclaimed his dad, “Why in the world do you want a green ping pong ball?”

“Well, Dad, I really can’t tell you. I would just really like to have a green ping pong ball.”

“Well, you can’t have one!” And then his father died.

The man had a son of his own.  When the man was turning 75 years old, his son came to him, wanting to honor his father for all he had done for him.  His son said, “I want to thank you for being the father you have been to me. Anything you want, you tell me, and I will get it for you.”

“Well, son, I’ll tell you, what I really want more than anything else is a green ping pong ball.”

“A green ping pong ball?” exclaimed his son, “Why in the world do you want a green ping pong ball?”

“Well, son, I really can’t tell you. I would just really like to have a green ping pong ball.”

“Well, you can’t have one!”

The time came for the man to face his own last days.  As he lay on his deathbed, his son came to him. He said, “Dad, you have always made sure I had whatever I need.  I want to make sure you leave this life without any regrets. Anything you want, you tell me, and I will get it for you.”

“Well, son, I’ll tell you, what I really want more than anything else is a green ping pong ball.”

“A green ping pong ball?” exclaimed his son, “Why in the world do you want a green ping pong ball?”

“Well, son, I’ll tell you.  The reason I want a green ping pong ball is…”

And he died.

I was telling that story to Soren this week, and he was captivated, just like I used to be.  He said, “Mom, there is a rhythm to that story.” I think that was one of the things I loved about it, listening to the rhythm of the story and the rhythm of my father’s voice telling that story. I also had so many questions.  Why a green ping pong ball?  And why would no one just get the man a green ping pong ball? I guess on some level, I always hoped the story would end differently.  And then one day, it did. 

The first time I graduated college was in the middle of the [employment discrimination] case, when my parents had no money to speak of. They could not afford to get me a big gift.  But what they gave me was so much better.  Mom gave me the world, or at least a coffee cup with the world imprinted on it as representative.  But Dad… Dad gave me… a green ping pong ball.  He gave it to me, and he said, “No questions asked.”

And that is when I learned that there are things that the people we love want and need, and many of those things are really not a big deal. They just need us to give to them. Why don’t we just do what they need? Why don’t we just give them what they want? So often, what they want and need are such small things really. Why hold back?  So when you leave today, take one of the little green ping pong balls in the bowl, and let it remind you to be generous to the people you love.  Make their wishes come true. No questions asked.